Monday, March 17, 2008

Dr. Laura Would Definitely Blame Me

The other night, my husband, whom we shall call Cadillac, went out on an errand. He unlocked the front door and called out to find where I was. I was on the couch, doing Yahoo Answers, probably one of my favorite pasttimes.
"Go take a shower," he ordered.
Immediately I didn't want to do such a thing. "In a minute." I was answering an intriguing questions about a woman whose husband is obsessed with big-handed women. Are my hands big? I wondered. I ran over to the desk to get a ruler.
And stepped on a dozen roses. Cadillac jumped out of the kitchen. "I told you to take a shower. I was going to put rose petals on the bed."
Boy, I felt bad. I tried to make it up to him, but now I'm worried he'll get some prostitutes. We can't afford the Spitzer kind, though, so they'll have to be the $5 hooker meth whores you can find wandering downtown. Completely my fault.

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